Who Moved Naraku's Cheese
by chatnoir1
Summary: Kagome thinks she has the answer to Naraku's problem. But is she being sincere or messing with his mind? R for language


Oi minna-san. Gomen that I haven't written anything new in a while. But finally getting some new reviews has got my Naru-chan fic mojo going again. Sorry it's short.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, just figures, plushies and a messenger bag

Who Moved Naraku's Cheese?

Kagome, fresh from another fight with Inuyasha, had gone for a walk to cool off. She heard singing. Male singing. She followed it to the river and peeked out from behind a bush. She blinked. There was Naraku, singing a duet with himself and splashing about in the water. She stifled a giggle.

"Oi, Naraku. Daijobu ka?"

Naraku looked over at Kagome, slightly annoyed at having been disturbed. "Hai. Had another fight with Inubaka?" Naraku came out of the water, throwing his wet, long ropey hair back, sending the droplets flying. He casually walked up to where his clothes lay and donned a pair of pants, all the time aware of Kagome'sroving eyes. He was the best piece of male ass in all Japan, be it youkai, hanyou or ningen, and he knew it. So did Sesshomaru, come to think of it. He chuckled. Ku ku ku ..

"Ano. Naraku. I have been thinking about your problem.."

"So ka? You have found a way to rid me of Kikyo?"

"Not that problem."

"Then you have come to give me the rest of the Shikon shards?"

"Iie, not that problem either."

"You've found another white baboon pelt?"

"Iie."

"Then what?" Kagome was beginning to get on his last nerve, and it was already frayed.

"Someone moved your cheese." Kagome nodded her head as she said this.

"Nani?"

"There is a book in my time called _Who moved my cheese_?. It's about being able to adapt to change and that it can be a good thing. The book is a parable that takes place in a maze where two mice and two mouse sized humans live. The two mice just want cheese, any cheese and they do what they must to get it. The two mouse sized humans have built their lives and beliefs around their piece of cheese. It's the best, let's say it comes from cows fed the finest grains, milked by hand during a waxing full moon, while being massaged and serenaded by a string quartet. They can't imagine life without it and will hang on to their piece of cheese to the bitter end. The point is the cheese can be anything, like your baboon pelt for instance. The message of the book is that you have to be willing to look for another source of cheese when the cheese you have runs out, be more like the mice. Make sense? You just need to find new cheese."

"Have you recently suffered a head injury? What in the name of Enma Daiou does losing my baboon pelt have to do with cheese?"

"Just think about it. Your whole self image was wrapped up in that ugly thing. It was your cheese. Since Kikyo burned it, nothing has gone right, has it?"

"True." Naraku rubbed his temples, feeling the beginning of a headache. "So what you are saying is that I need to get another white baboon pelt. I know this."

"Iie. Baka.. What I am saying is that you need to find something else. Your cheese has gone bad and it's time to toss it out and start over."

Naraku's headache intensified. "And just how am I supposed to do that?"

"Soul searching is a good place to start, but you don't have one. It gives you something new to brood about anyway." Kagome was feeling greatly cheered up. "Ja ne."

Naraku finished dressing, then took a walk. He ended up near the Bone-Eater's well. Cheese. He needed new cheese. Sappari wakarana. He shook his head.

Sesshomaru wasin the areawith Rin and Jaken. There were some specific herbs his retainer was looking for, and Rin wanted mushrooms. He saw Naraku, sitting there, staring vacantly, talking to himself. As much as he would never admit it, Naraku's increasingly bizarre behaviour was beginning to worry Sesshomaru. Naraku was becomming unpredictible and that was not good. He walked over.

"Naraku."

Naraku looked up at him. "Oi, Sesshy. I was just meditating on the nature of cheese. I need new cheese." He went back to staring out into space.

"Do not call me that. And you always sit by your window to meditate. In fact, Kagura has told me the mats there have a permanent imprint of your ass."

"Did she? Ano, Shesshy. Have you ever lost your cheese?"

"Daijobu ka, Naraku?"

"Hai. Kagome-kan asked me the same question, then she told me about the cheese. And mice and tiny ningens."

"So ka?"

"Hai. But the cheese isn't really cheese, it's my baboon pelt. Or in your case, it could be the loss of your left arm. You found new cheese, Sesshomaru, how did you do it?"

Sesshomaru stood there in slience. That Kagome was good. He had to hand it to her. First with the fake prayer beads, now with this cheese nonesense. Naraku was going catatonic on him again, so Sesshomaru did the first thing that came to mind, apart from killing Naraku. He bent down and slapped him. Hard. Felt damned good, too. "Urusai na! Dame yo." He slapped him again. "Chikusho baka!. And again. He straightened back up, a ghost of a smile playing about his lips.

Naraku, slapped out of his funk, got to his feet. Suddenly the air was filled with the buzzing of the Saimyoushou. His eyes blazed red. "I don't need a new source of cheese." Other youkai appeared. Yep he still had it. Damned mindfucking bitch of a Miko wanna-be and her fucking cheese.

"Iie, but you might want to lay off the sake for a while. Really Naraku. That is twice she has gotten the better of you."

"Chikusho." Naraku paused for a second. "But some of what she said made sense."

"Naraku. Don't make me slap you again. She is a ningen. What could she possibly know. Besides, she keeps company with Inuyasha, in the foolish hope he will wise up and ravish her in some field as she wishes, uttering itooshi and ai shiteru."

"Maybe she is the one who needs to find some new cheese." Naraku wasn't ready quite yet to let this whole cheese thing go, he believed there might be something useful in it, somewhere.

"It is no concern of mine. I am leaving now. Sayonara."

Naraku stood, stretched, and deciding he'd had enough excercise for the day, transported back to his current residence in a black whirl of smoke. He made some tea, then sat by the window to brood.

owari


End file.
